


redeployment

by In_Flagrante_Delicto



Series: for we were soldiers, once, and young [1]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Solo: Margaret Houlihan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_Flagrante_Delicto/pseuds/In_Flagrante_Delicto
Summary: She doesn't have anywhere else to go, so she follows Hawkeye to Maine, all the way to Crapapple Cove, shows up at his door a month after he got home. She doesn't know whyhim, at first, but when she sits in the plane and grips the armrests, thinkingthe plane spun out, there were no survivors, when she feels herself breaking at the edges, she realises that she just wants someone who can understand.
Relationships: Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan & Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Series: for we were soldiers, once, and young [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974940
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Fic In A Box





	redeployment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thinlizzy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/gifts).



Margaret doesn't know what to do when the war ends. Doesn't want to be in the army any longer, has had enough of death and dying and blood.

She doesn't have anywhere else to go, so she follows Hawkeye to Maine, all the way to Crapapple Cove, shows up at his door a month after he got home. She doesn't know why _him_ , at first, but when she sits in the plane and grips the armrests, thinking _the plane spun out, there was no survivors_ , when she feels herself breaking at the edges, she realises that she just wants someone who can understand.

It's raining when she pulls up in front of Hawkeye's and pays the driver, but she doesn't rush to huddle under the cover of his porch, just stands in the rain as the cabbie drives away and lets herself be drenched in it. Her hair sticks to the back of her neck, and she runs her fingers through it like she's in the freezing showers at the 4077th.

It's Daniel Pierce that answers the door when she works up the courage to knock, but Hawkeye comes out a minute later with a blanket, puts a hand on his dad's shoulder. He looks happier than he ever did in Korea, but his face is still pinched, like the war hasn't quite let him go. Margaret understands; the war hasn't let go of her either.

"I didn't know where else to go," She tells him, and he just wraps the blanket around her, leading her inside.

He puts her on a sofa in front of the fireplace, wanders into the kitchen to get her something hot to drink, hopefully something better than the coffee they had in Korea. He's quiet, and she doesn't quite know what to do with that, with this new quiet Hawkeye. She knew he would be different, but had hoped... Something. That it wouldn't be noticeable, maybe, which is an awful thing to think about your friend's breakdown.

Daniel Pierce sits heavily on the armchair, sighing as he lowers himself into it. It's startling how much he reminds her of Hawkeye, how much of Hawkeye had come from this man she had never met. She wonders how much of her had come from her father. She wonders how much of herself had come from the army, and who she would be now that she was out.

The sofa is surely getting wet, she realises. Why did she stand in the rain like that? What kind of a guest was she, to show up and ruin Hawkeye's furniture?

_The sofa's in the living room, between the end tables_ , she thinks, and smiles. She thinks, _everything's going to be okay_ , and then Hawkeye comes in with coffee and she bursts into tears. 

When she finally gets out that she doesn't know what to do now that she's left the army, that she's scared, and that _she's sorry about the sofa, it's all wet now_ , Hawkeye just pulls her into a hug and lets her sob into his shirt. It's his horrible Hawaiian shirt, except that he only had the one in Korea, and this is different. It has little red lobsters on it. She feels bad about ruining this too, and she tells him so.

"It's okay," he tells her, "I can get another one. And one for you, if you'd like."

She still feels lost, and confused, like she isn't settled quite right in her body now that she's a civilian. She remembers Hawkeye's face in those last few weeks, before they sent him away, and thinks, _was this how it felt for you?_

"I'm sorry," She says again, and she must sound like a broken record, and isn't that just the definition of insanity, saying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

"It's _okay_ , Margaret." Hawkeye says. "I've done worse than cry into someone's shirt, and you lot all forgave me, didn't you?"

She pulls back, scrubbing at her face, trying to regain composure. Gasps. Nods.

Hawkeye has one hand on her shoulder, rubbing warm circles into her skin. She nods again, decisive. Her hair flops in her eyes, and she tries to push it back behind her ear. It's stringy from the rain, and she dries her hand on the sofa.

"Ben's told me lots about you," Daniel Pierce says, and she starts, surprised that he's still here.

She wants to be embarrassed that he just saw her completely fall to pieces, wants to snap at him to _get lost_ , but she can see that he's giving her an out, the same way Hawkeye used to do when she was upset and didn't want to talk about it. She thinks, _so that's where he gets it from_.

"Ben?" She asks and Daniel laughs.

Hawkeye sighs, the exaggerated way he used to when he was doing a bit with BJ, when he wanted to make someone laugh.

"He went to all the effort of getting people to call me Hawkeye, and yet..."

She snorts. Picks up her mug off the coffee table and lets it warm her hands. Thinks, again, _everything's going to be okay_ , and this time she actually believes it.


End file.
